you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
