Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
