I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
