he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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