ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
