New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
