i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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