Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
