what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
