Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
