I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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