hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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