What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize