goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
