Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
