Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
