Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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