Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
