I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
