Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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