Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
