yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
