So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
