okay pat passed out under dana's car
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
