i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
