Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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