How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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