Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
