He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
