I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
