I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
