his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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