she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You can't just leave with hair like that
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
