real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
