I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
