the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
