I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
