Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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