Im at strip club and am horny
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
