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• (706): View more from Georgia

  Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn

  (706): View more from Georgia

  And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs

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• (681): View more from West Virginia

  Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.

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• (707): View more from California

  I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.

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• (914): View more from New York

  All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.

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