So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
