thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
