i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
