Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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