I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just forgot I was standing up.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
