did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
