I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
