Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
