i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
