she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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