wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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