I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize