that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
