if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize