so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
