no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
