apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
