how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
